What I'm trying to say is that anthem has some son of a bitch I'm trying to say that anthem has some serious problems he a really needed a winner here and considering that this is Bioware masters of storytelling you'd think that the game be a lot better than it really is but it really is a huge disappointment and the reason for that is I want to tell you things fuck.
Are you finished are you fucking finished loading now can I do my review thank you well I might as well get this out of the way right now is one of anthems biggest problems is the amount of loading screens you'll be looking at as you try to play it's hard to get into a groove when every few seconds BAM a loading screen smashes you in the face is it me or do you know you agree sometimes you feel like you're playing more loading screens than game yeah especially when you're playing with it in a different group they don't really let you enjoy the game when a player picks up anthem I want them to feel like they're a hero and I want them to be able to do it easily I don't want to put a lot of friction in place where they have to you know find different people to play with and have different groups and timelines for them to play I want them to be able to get into the game easily whatever engine whatever system was used here is that the detriment of immersion I'd forego these score screens to have it replaced with an in options inventory tab where I can switch my weapons on-the-fly check out which items I got from drops and equip them where necessary all within the same open world session easily moving on to the next contract but no instead it's a loading screen and sometimes these things take longer than the actual missions themselves archanis ruins the loading I cut up the loading and I cut up the actual gameplay not cheating in any way the loading took longer than the actual gameplay the mission we were able to complete like that loading was 5 minutes and 20 seconds total the actual gameplay 4 minutes 23 seconds of actual gameplay and this was for the arcanist runes contract and you'll be playing a lot of this shit over and over but you know what anthem has way bigger problems than loading screens let's let's just forget all about them forget I even brought them up because what's even more of an issue is anthems progression it's story its pacing it's crap loot it's awful AI its lack of information for the player it's are you joking anemic endgame and it's annoying as NPCs that have a knack for telling me their whole life fucking story every single time I brush by them what did I do oh yeah you want to hear more god no great after that I was walking into the living room and I hear this high-pitched noise and look over and I see my goldfish Jimmy just vibrating violently I was like what is going on I don't know where Jimmy just blows up like that look down Jenny I run over there and get all the little pieces now put them in this little plastic bag I was gonna go to throwing trash because I don't want to flush Jimmy down the toilet coz if shit goes Jimmy is not shit he's my pet goldfish so I go throw him in the trash but it's suzaku outside you'll never guess who I saw take a guess I don't give a damn I'll tell you anyways there's Charles Charles always be money someone hey Charles where's my money at man I want I start walking towards him and then he starts walking faster trying to avoid me and this group of dogs come out of nowhere and then I start attacking him and he's yelling gerd help me how they tell me please like naw motherfucker you owe me five dollars so I walk back to my house I don't want none of that I walk back to my house and then all of a sudden I shat my pants and that is why. It's dangerous to eat leftover Taco Bell oh my god but before we dive into all these issues let's take a look at the positives of anthem so that you see I'm giving this game a fair chance I wanted anthem to succeed and yes this game does get some things right things I was sort of expecting in a Loutre shooter in 2019 it's flight it's gameplay and it's graphics one of the best parts of anthem and what helps separate it from its appears it's its ability to take flight clearly the flying is the best part of the game oh I feel like The Rocketeer so.
Uh so obscure referencing so many people have compared it to an Iron Man simulator and maybe no they're right it's just so liberating this amazing new level of verticality in the game this method of transportation it's much more fun to just take off and fly around in this world that on some Sparrow or huffing it on foot just taking to the skies whenever you want and really seeing the spectacular looking vistas that Bioware has constructed is rightfully all inspiring.
Oh my god it's so beautiful I mean look.
At this shit get going it's just so lush.
And beautiful looking especially just flying or oh shit just flying around this looks so good oh my god and that's. The other very very good aspect of anthem is how beautiful it is to look at it is downright breathtaking at times I didn't think that I could go to that place off in the distance in those trailers but I can from the skies to the dabs and all of it filled with wildlife friendly grab it Buffalo like things.
Fascinating luminous jellyfish underwater two hostile creatures like scorpions and even huge world boss Titans there is tons of alien flora to harvest for materials and various lore and collectibles and chests that keep you exploring every inch and corner this is just fantastic things are detailed and textures are really impressive on both the NPC's and in the hub area and out in the field on your javelin also the facial animations they're fantastic and no I'm not talking about those cardboard cutout NPCs standing around and talking those are bad I know you cheated at the game sweetie I don't have to cheat you're just bad at cards I want my money back sorry spent it I'd be up for another game if you wanted to win it back please I can't afford to lose that money there's no work at the fort then maybe you shouldn't be gambling I have a family I hope they're better at cards than you are. And even sometimes the main characters feel like just actors reading out their lines unenthusiastically I may add nevermind rhetorical question sorry I'm a little cranky sorry my face is tired from dealing with everything it's clearly not 100% as bad. As Mass Effect Andromeda the facial animations are rather quite good in the more directed cutscene you don't measure it you don't count it's nothing like that it's a feeling everything ok here on yeah well on your last mission I noticed that the cipher chair was giving off some very strange feedback Oh readings fall within acceptable tolerances yes you look cool but if you ignore it and something goes wrong I will find an Arcanist and perform a full protocol inspection on this unit.
Even if at times they may be exaggerating it a bit to shake the reputation the bad reputation of my face is tired I am loading in my face that.
Way I don't get tired what the hell is.
Wrong with you what do you mean this is my natural way to talk are you not impressed no please stop that I'm just.
Excited to see you.
I have mace my face is excited finally.
One of the more important things then anthem does get right is its moment-to-moment gameplay it is a ton of fun here to just crush your enemies downright mow them down it's loud it's overly flashy sometimes too flashy as the special effects fill the screen and kind of blind you at times.
But just working with your teammates setting off combos as you freeze fire electrocute enemies it makes for a great experience you're firing off your your primary quickly using your two different powerful javelin specific skill abilities and then you lay down your support skill and then fire off your ultimate for maximum damage it is undeniably addicting.
This is fucking okay now I'm having a real good amount of finding your style and one of the four javelins is great fun to the standard but powerful range or the melee focus interceptor the huge hulking Colossus with artillery and heavy weapons and my personal favorite the elemental storm which can sort of hover over the battlefield and really make for some beautiful and much different combat loops than its peers and competitors this is what the game does well and there's no other game that quite feels like anthem but I do wish that that would have included some aerial combat as well to really take full advantage of that the flight ability but other than that I've got no huge complaints in the gameplay itself it's strong.
And finally I really appreciate that Bioware is trying to correct one of bungees mistakes they actually attempt to put a story in here you know with plenty of character interactions with your quest givers previously you know these quest givers just stand there and and don't really do they try here okay even if they mostly fail at it points for trying at least a few beacons have gone quiet in the wilderness and we're short-handed those beacons are vital to my work here if they're broken so I should go fix your beacons Oh perfect I'm so glad you offered my pleasure good good I'll talk to you in the field no problem so it's a great game the eyes got great graphics gameplay some story see some cool flight mechanics what more do you need Joe you love the game say you love the game no I don't are you in shock in some sort of who can be the bigger hero contest what that's the third you fuckin sighs nothing else God oops because besides all those things you start to see the many many problems this is a lunar shooter right then where the hell is all the exciting loot same. Guns I'm starting to see a pattern of the loots not all that exciting that's really not the loot in anthem downright sucks it's boring it's not that it's a slow drip feed of cool stuff no it is an avalanche of crap and limited crap did you know the only thing that you'll be unlocking are say me looking guns and javelin abilities why do the drops suck so bad look here's the difference between an epic shotgun and a rare shotgun it's the same it's the same freakin weapons over and over and over and over they don't even bother to change the freaking models on the guns very much it all looks pretty much the same and no matter what I mean even if you go into the freakin menu or line we need another fucking loading screen to get there I forgot that was real I I that.
Actually is the thing you go into the fucking library the armory here you go into weapons and you these are all the weapons in the game so the only thing you're gonna fuckin drop is these at a glance you cannot tell the difference between the havoc and the relentless you go over to the assault rifles and can you tell the difference between the defender the hammer head and the warden at a glance no you can't it fucking sucks and then we go back into the forge which requires another fucking loading screen and then you you you're like okay well at least I can customize my guy well you oh my god you can't and somebody please tell me why they're only fucking two fucking things two arms and tarce torsos and heads and arms and legs you thought you'd be customizing yourself to look fucking oh there's only like fucking two in the game that you can fucking earn through in-game things to rest you up to buy like this legendary fucking torso bullshit what the fuck I can't I am shocked that this is all they came up with in six years this is what they have available to you to either buy or equip and you can't even get that unless you get the special edition of the game you've got to be shitting me this shit is so basic so same looking that it starts to basically turn into just rarity colors hell you never see any master works or legendaries until you're starting to do the crap end game hooking us on something cool would have been nice but nope we just get rows and rows of the same weapons and abilities with the same choices some clearly better than others making it even more disappointing where are all the fucking vinyls where are all the wear States where are all the animations look at all these different animations that you're supposed to be able to slot in someone please explain to me why they don't drop from chests and to give us variation and to mace it make us excited as we play where the fuckin did they not finish the fucking game this is all that there is after six years of development this is simply it were are all the paint vinyls we're States animations and all this stuff in the drops that would have made the loot in the game exciting getting stuff and I'm finished with the game I actually completely finished with the main storyline and I looked at the same the entire fucking time are you shitting me are you fucking shitting me you've got the loot in a loot shooter okay well if the loot isn't gonna drive me forward much maybe the missions themselves will be cool and they can do that right well I knew I was in for a treat when the second mission of the game decides to plump me down and I stand here and guard the signal booster against waves and waves of enemies yeah I thought so yeah.
Great exactly what I wanted right at the beginning followed by a take orb things to and fro while again facing waves and waves of enemies Wow wow great mission. Design Bioware I didn't like it when destiny had this form their main mission structure and I liked it even less when Bioware does it not LEDs liver under the floating lights there the echos grab them and bring into the your javelin can hold three at a time this is like this throughout the whole damn game aside from strongholds but we'll get there in a moment but I had to ask myself why are there exactly zero epic or memorable moments in the story there's zero there's no memorable moment this is why some say the story is boring or uninspired because frankly it is in so many ways the main baddie the monitor who is somehow even less interesting than destiny twos big Greek guy in fact the.
Best mission throughout the whole game is one you can't even fuckin play much of what I am about to tell you is not well known is that Fremont was one of the great cities of Bastion until one day the Dominion arrived on their doorstep conquerors from oh shit hell.
Yes this bitch is gonna be awesome oh.
Shit Oh the Dominion Oh sentinels and the.
Freelancers would make all you for Fremont not a deal each group heirs in.
Their own right to the legend so just mission is going to be so fucking awesome I can't wait to play this epic.
Oh a big-ass fucking battle with freelancers versus Paul man one of our best free as the Enclave left.
To meet the Dominion forces head-on we we don't get to play this do we shit you.
Watch it and these huge Striders that we saw in the e3 trailers walking they take part in supporting this battle do we see any of these move in the game no stridor full of rations and batteries I ordered was jumped by regulators no point do.
These riders ever move.
You can equip your javelin exosuit with gear that brings the devastating power that never fucking happens in the game that's exactly what would make it fucking cool it fucking lied to us use that quarter.
We read about how they ferry goods back and forth and they're the lifeblood of this world between cities carrying freelancers into battle do you ever get to guard one on the move nope do we ever defend the walls of the gravelord farces where we're supposed to care about everybody as they do in the cutscene so they fought outnumbered outflanked and of God freelancers fought.
They did well for a time nope.
Instead we do the bitch work of collecting orbs and fixing radio tower crap salvage searched have to search three Salvage piles job together you got. Close to them you shoot the endless waves of enemies as I searched the garbage piles up on one riveting yay yay.
High five any race no I got two whites.
Good oh yes. Jairs wrath oh nice that never happens they died even the great anthem the namesake of the game is a letdown you read about how the shaper technology was built by what must beat the gods it has the ability to do anything manipulate gravity shape reality itself. Oh wait how bad could this get you were in the house of rage when you don't even think it see these ruins there's a theory a shape we read it flipped gravity for a daddy uh-huh well bouncing ocean has to be some.
Reason for it all they could have done so much with its core concept in gameplay turns reverse gravity in the game flip the world upside down have us walk on walls inception scenarios teleport you to unknown plains of Azeez existences mess with our memories of what's happened in the game turn things inside out really cool shit but do they do any of this no guess what these relics do instead they spawn enemies a horde mode again what the fuck.
Something nasty boring and completely wasted potentials. Remember this is by our makers of Mass. Effect the Knights of the Old Republic hell even the MMO version it has better multiplayer and story and Dragon Age hell even the much derided Mass Effect Andromeda had a better story and side quests than this game does in my opinion and why is this game such a pain in the ass to play with friends - I mean they're supposed to sell itself on this and honestly it's it's just kind of difficult to stay in a group as your friends listen to all the story missions alone without you as you wait around for them yeah I'm gonna go to the bar discuss an important matter with Owen visit the bar so what you're doing no what are you doing uh it told me to go to Malthus mmm-hmm Matthias Matthias.
Yeah it's sad that it's often easier to solo for the most part with randoms who never talked to you never utter a word so much as a peep who often charge ahead and force you into another loading screen because the tether between players is so ridiculously small it's annoying yeah oh shit I meant to put it on fucking private so we didn't have to deal with see we're already outside of.
The mission area we're gonna be teleported Oh missions aren't marked on the map with the player that they're attached to so you have no idea whose mission is what and who deeds what and where they're at you you can't set waypoints in free roam you have no idea what these expedition feats are supposed to be and the launch Bay what is the launch Bay it's empty it's completely pointless I don't know why I went here I didn't ask to go here and.
Then now I have to go over here yeah I ended up there to download again fucking ridiculous man unless you want to see other strangers javelins what you're gonna see anyway as you play what the fuck what the fuck is the launch Bay Bioware look what happened to my head it.
Is so disappointing and simply unacceptable that anthem has learned exactly nothing from its peers it's even. Pathetic that this game in many ways even fails to live up to similar looter shooters of five six years ago Borderlands 2 destiny the division warframe a destiny - for Christ's sake with so many lessons to pull from Bioware chores to ignore nearly all of them and stupidly repeat mistakes while adding a few shockingly incompetent ones themselves.
Are you me wow great AI so you've got these boring. And uninspired missions going for a while during your first five hours then it's somehow gets worse BAM one of the shittiest levels of all time I've seen out of a triple-a developer Bioware comes to punch you.
Do you feel motivated at all to continue playing I don't listen no I'm just following you like I think I don't I don't the stories like oh we just need to go back to the hills her green especially when missions are this boring get 10 50 out of 50 melee kills good fucking cool but the boss fights so far I've been like beat this one elite guy who looks like every other elite guy I mean you're fighting one now it's not.
Really fun though it's not even explained very well it's individual requirements are buried in menus so you fumble around anthems crap interface by the way every few minutes to see if you've completed one of these pieces of shit oh my god I can finally open up one of these stupid ass to the truth you know edenia aspirin enter and greet the Guardian fuck you oh.
Alright it's better be fucking worth it better be fucking cool well face information said to reach the Guardian so why don't you try that then.
Haha are you is that all that's one down. Just three to go oh you Bioware oh.
That's great that's real great you Bioware hold up how knowing that by where maybe realize it's you add me and maybe this is not a good idea and you know just destroy the pacing of their own game it's beyond me it really shows how they've changed over the years so me spending hours playing with you doesn't count for anything as you go play by myself yeah pretty much now at this point in the story goes solo bullshit that sucks and solo in a shitty mission design.
You're not doing this game justice it's sad that a three minute trailer from Neil Blanca put together as has just more character and emotions than in the entire game that it's based on.
You'll see visions Kali your history your future life unlived.
I never should've trusted you.
That's when you know something went wrong along the way as for the enemies in the game it's the scar and the Dominion pretty much the whole way through and they are uninspired bad guys to say the least I mean what the hell are the scar they're supposed to be these bugs but yet they look like humans mostly with a big guy whether with a shield thrown in from a certain other game to vary up gameplay oh yeah in a tank that is apparently a bug too apparently yeah no this is crap and yes the AI this is mostly crap visions Kathy you're history.
And pretty much these spawn right the hell in front of you most times and not even the bosses have very interesting patterns or weak points at all crazily the best enemies in the game are instead it's wildlife scorpions dragons beasts even Titans and they must know this too because they start even reusing the Titans s story bosses even after you've already seen them and fought them like three times doing other things at the end they a Titan it's sad we've already fought a fight in a bunch of time only right before does.
The game start to pick up and it starts to inject more cutscenes in the middle of missions all right this is what I wanted giving them more urgency uniqueness tension story the missions are better but just as it finds its first real groove the game ends and it's.
An all right cool boss fight and then it's over but wait there's more but wait.
There's more hey going to your sheep maybe cuz just what I scream up but joke the end game the end game will save us except it won't it's three stronghold missions one of which since you already played in the storyline the tyrant mind and then when you beat the game two more open up only they insultingly hilariously reuse assets one is basically the final boss fight of the game over again.
And the other is ask our tank that you fought already only with shields skews is it just the pilot it I'm confused together Joe I spawned into a stronghold.
There was already in progress for quick play and I went into the mission I can't get past this door there's door closes and you can't follow them in you're just fucking stuck I can't I can't go on I can't progress any farther why would they even have a door shut like that if you can come in drop in drop out by where had to have known that three strongholds would be like the bare minimum they can offer without being a joke and why in any scenario is the bare minimum fucking good enough especially when you recycle 2/3 of just three fucking strongholds this is why I think. EA's games as a service have failed it pretty much always means the release will be unsatisfying and the devs whoa whoa rush to fix the game don't be so reactive Joe and that's where I love and don't add to it as it goes along as as fewer and fewer players play it and drop off since it wasn't done right the first time.
Which would explain the numerous audio glitches no audio glitches crashes let.
The fuck an unknown error okay you don't even know what the fuck is going on just anemic strongholds in the crap end game which is literally you just repeating without the ability to choose the same storyline missions and side contracts that you already played over and over and over again the challenge of valor that that opens up at the end of the game and you think oh oh my God look at this grind 100 events 25 strongholds 25 contracts 25 quick plays if you could even get through 25 quick plays and you accept that and you're like okay maybe there'll be like an extended cutscene at the end of it or you'll get something extra cool or something awesome well here's what you get the challenge of.
Valor you get a graphic one fucking.
Graphic not a new badass armor said so that people know oh shit not only did you finish the game but you also completed the challenge of Valor no you get one fucking graphic 4,000 coins which is hilariously low and 10 mass work embers that's not even enough to craft a single masterwork a weapon nearly like 25 and 10 epic embers what the fuck who who is responsible for this.
This speaks of slapped together slap - together they were in a huge rush the horrible end game balance the fact that 95% of items are absolutely useless including legendaries and they'll have stats on them that won't do anything good at all most of the items for all these fucking mechs all these javelins are useless and on top of that you get duplicates all the time like all these legendaries have useless prefixes and a fixes last shot the last show in your magazine reduces recoil by 50% for 20 seconds why why why would you ever use any of these so most of these are fucking worthless there's like a couple in the game that are good now then you get into like Oh what about my other game it's gonna be useful this does basically no damage for some reason does less than a normal shotgun this is useless it does almost no damage the flamethrower gets you killed in higher difficulties but lets you detonate combos at least well guess what chat this one's broken the SATs didn't roll and it didn't do anything so this is fucking worthless I love my zero percent for zero seconds flamethrowers this is really a good item you know getting enemy flare flamethrower damage increased by 0% for zero second stacking to zero really good very good item really good item this is the effort that went into the weapons it's like DnB habló when you get uniques you get items that have preset stats but they have a range of things they could have like if you get a frost sword the frost sword is always gonna have frost damage on it but it could be between 50% and 100% more frost damage this game is just a total crapshoot everything is completely fucking randomized other than the this value right here so I don't know what they were thinking but it's it's just not even good the crafting crafting it's non-existent it's tied to faction loyalty which progress is far too slow to be used before the end of the game and after the end it costs insane amounts 25 masterwork embers roughly 125.
Thousand credits if you buy them which I don't have that much after 31 hours to craft a single masterwork weapon and the stats are completely random so you can get horrible things well what do you have to do for example the earth 6 which takes forever to kill you have to kill 106 for 1,600 coin or how about 50.
Titans for 2000 coin mm coin let me show.
You how many coins I have right now I have eighty nine thousand eight hundred and forty five core lanes are you fucking kidding me can we get a little bit more coin for something as ridiculous as that seriously yes. There are easier way to get credits Daly's weeklies and monthlies but without this and alliances various rewards if you look in the menus they are hilariously out of whack I've played a total of 76 hours in this game about 60 of which have been farming the tyrant mine on Grand Master and farming it over and over and over again I have earned a total of a hundred and thirty three thousand five hundred and forty credits give or take a couple thousand from crafting that's not counting the forty thousand that was given to me for playing the game from origin premiere or the Legion of Don Edition I don't know so I've essentially made ninety three thousand credits right from playing the game ninety three thousand in total if I go over here to this vendor and I talked to this dude and I go to the regulator store and I go and I check hey how much can i pluck and build if I want to buy Master Craft embers they're five thousand credits it takes twenty five are at master work embers to craft a single master word gun which means I haven't even earned enough to buy master work embers enough to build a single gun on master work I need 25 fucking this is a divine vengeance but I need 25 master work embers to build a single randomly stat world gun or 125 thousand credits which I haven't made in 70 hours of playing the game they didn't do any QA testing that is so fucking dumb 25 embers to build this if I wanted to build if I wanted to build a fucking purple it's five epic verse to build a purple so okay let's you think one tear up would be 10 master work nah dude it's 25 for a single master work they even show signs of pure incompetence in simple things there's not even a character stat sheet in a stat based game with percentage modifiers.
There's no stat page for any of this it's a game about min max in your stats like if I go to my components you have stuff like a repair luck amount bucking effect resists like resist of physical elementals etc there's no stats page in this entire game you would think that it would be somewhere where you can see your total health your total your damage your reload speed your resistances doesn't exist no stats page anywhere in the entire game and pretty much makes figuring out what min max to do absolutely pointless because I can't see it working I can't see it changing anything so I want to know how the developers tested their game all of this guys with no pvp remember.
Destiny had PvP you would think that it would give Bioware all this extra time for more put more effort into its PvE content to make stuff better but nope three strongholds that are recycled there are no rate until a few months from now unlike destiny again who atleast released the vault of glass within its first week what the hell has Bioware been doing these past six years it's a unique experience that affords us all kinds of things that we can do in the gameplay and in the storytelling that you couldn't do it when a player picks up anthem I want them to feel like they're a hero and I want them to be able to do it easily I don't want to put a lot of friction in place where they have to you know find different people to play with and have different groups and timelines for them to play I want them to be able to get into the game easily and really start to realize what it has to offer and then become addicted and then play forever the final verdict for anthem is a four out of ten slightly below average that is because of all the issues that I just talked about it all stacked up upon one another it's poor release state its bugs its glitches it's terrible endgame its lack of content when compared to its peers what the hell were they doing all these years I don't know the lies when compared to you know what they were promising and what we actually got this is a four out of ten I all the way up to a six out of ten but it clearly is deficient it's better than. You know destiny and some of its peers in certain ways but it is definitely worse and many others and that's why I was going to give it a five I think it is capable of that but when you factor in all of the extra stuff and the release date of how it came out that's a four out of ten guys there's no way around it will anthem be a better game and in six months from now when they add all the rest of the content when the developers fix of all the problems yes I guess but by then fewer and fewer people walk played and that's what pisses me off the most the game is gonna be better and better for fewer and fewer people and that's why it is so important to get this stuff right the first time and why I think EA's idea of games as a service has failed and I'm sick of it I don't want anymore now are we going to get some of these fundamental fixes in the updates or is it gonna happen we're gonna have to wait till anthem - I think we're probably gonna have to wait till anthem - if we even get one I am seriously concerned for Bioware this isn't there's no excuse like you know a Bioware Montreal or something from the Andromeda know this is Bioware proper that put something out worse than that studio they got shut down you know absorbed in the EA I am scared as hell that EA has already destroyed this company that's it I'm ending on a. Terribly disappointing and scary no guys I'm we might have to discuss more in an extended review but thank you so much for watching this extremely very long angry review and I'll see you guys on the next & Greet Joe show